My whole life I've identified as a "fixer." I enjoy finding solutions to problems whether it's with relationships or work. In everything I do, I am always striving to make things better or make sure things are "good." I like helping people so if I think there's anything I can do to fix or make a person's day better you can be sure I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens. Honestly, I'm actually pretty good at it. Maybe for that exact reason, I rarely find myself feeling like there's not a way to fix something, and if I do feel that way it typically only lasts for a crying session or two. After that, I'll wipe my tears away and begin to brainstorm of all the possible outcomes to make things "ok" again. That's how my brain has always worked and how I navigated my life. Or at least this is how I used to react to most hardships until I put myself in a position that caused me to feel like there's was no possible way to ever resolved the brokenness I was feelingRead More
I was in a very emotionally, physically and sexually abusive relationship three years ago with a man that I loved very much. I remember all of my friends and family telling me I deserved so much better than what he was giving me. I never believed any of them and I would always take up for him. Maybe some of you have been there too? The truth is no one can tell you what you do or don’t deserve. Unfortunately, you have to figure your worth out for yourself.Read More
“Am I enough?”
It’s a question I ask myself constantly. Sometimes it’s about what I’m doing, the quality of my work, and oftentimes about who I am. My motto is “do it right or don’t do it at all.” A motto passed down by my dad whom I admire very much, and certainly have his genetic predisposition for quality and relentless hard work. It doesn’t sound bad right? I’ve certainly been noticed professionally and ended up with some great job opportunities because of it. The problem is that I looked at everything I did as a reflection of who I am. When I messed up, I would resent myself. It was a life of zero self-mercy. Which lead to total exhaustion and a pursuit of perfection.Read More
Unfortunately, that would not be my last experience as the odd man out. I honestly can’t remember a time when I haven’t felt like I truly stick out like a sore thumb. I’ve been the homeschooled kid, the sheltered one, the naïve one, the weirdo, the girl who is just a little too extra… just to name a few.
My experiences of not fitting in have left a lot of emotional scars. Scars that sometimes make me question if people truly like me for me or worry if one day will realize that I don’t belong and drop me like others have in my past. However, despite the hurt I’ve experienced from being left out I have discovered the beauty in embracing who you are.Read More